What do you think of when you think of “Desires” Do you have a strong one to get you moving?
- Is it something to do?
- Something to be?
- Somewhere to go?
- Something to have?
When we were little, people always asked us what we wanted to do when we grew up. Are we doing that now? Most people probably not. They have been objected by their surroundings. The do not follow what their heart is telling them for fear of punishment, ostracism, or disapproval.
My Dream Lost Interest
People tend to do things because they feel they have to, ought to, or should, not because they truly want to. I wanted to be a designer. I loved changing my room around at home and thought it would be great to learn more. My dream lost interest when I entered into high school. It was a small country school and the choices of classes were minimal. Getting into architecture just didn’t seem like it would happen in the areas of study I had in front of me.
I was good with numbers and gears and so what did I do? What a lot do when they are good with numbers. Be an Accountant. It was easy for me, so easy that now has become boring and monotonous. I fell away from what my heart truly desired.
Now that I am older, my values have changed, but needing to find your core desires are will lead me to true happiness, in my job and family.
Strong core Desires
Core desires are those things you have in your heart, the things you feel most compelled to do and want to do. They are things you are truly emotional about. But my question to you is, “Do you have a sense of what it will take to realize those desires?” Are you willing to pay the price? Am I smart enough to learn what I need to know? Do I believe that I can find the answers to help me?
If you have had a goal set for months or years and you have not learned what it takes to make it happen. Then it is not part of your “Core” desire. Either you have not found what it takes to make it happen, or you truly do not believe it will happen.
This can be an issue not only for those starting out in a career, but also for some who are established, even highly-successful, yet unfulfilled. It’s easy to find oneself on a path determined by others, or by circumstance (i.e., the job offer or project that comes along unexpectedly and is too good to turn down, then becomes a career).
Sometimes, we may not be aware of what truly engages us until we examine our own activities and behaviors from a detached, inquisitive perspective. “You almost have to ask yourself, What do I find myself doing?,” explains the author and happiness guru Gretchen Rubin. “What you spend time doing can also tell you what you should do. Because sometimes the things we do without thinking really are things we naturally enjoy or are good at.”
I have a quick lesson for you that I learned along my journey . See if it can help you find your core desires. This was not easy for me at first. I really had to do some digging and soul searching.
Ask yourself:
- “What would I like to have that I don’t have now?” You can find this in your family, relationships, finances, self-image, or mental self. Then ask “ What would I love to do if I had no obligations? If I had more time? What makes me laugh? What would I love to do to help others? What are my strengths? What do I want from my family? What did I used to do and can’t do now? And If I didn’t have to worry about money, what would I do?
- If I had that, was that, or could do that, what would it give me and how would it make me feel? This gets you past the wishes and helps you see the difference it can make in your life. Don’t settle for what others are telling you.
When you find what you like, that will make it easier to see who else in the world wants the same things. These are the ones you want to be speaking to. Keep asking questions:
What am I doing when I feel most beautiful?
What is something you believe that almost nobody agrees with you on?
What are your superpowers?
So what did you enjoy doing at age 10?
What are you willing to try now?
Looking back on your career, 20 or 30 years from now, what do you want to say you’ve accomplished?
What is your sentence? meaning that a leader with a clear and strong purpose could be summed up in a single line (e.g., “Abraham Lincoln preserved the union and freed the slaves.”).
Why am I so confident?
Why do I love feeling so confident?
Why am I so capable?
Why am I so comfortable being Who I Really Am?
Why do I attract more than enough in my life?
Why am I good enough, even though I’m not perfect?
Why am I perfectly equipped to do what I’m here to do?
Why am I so loved?
Why is it ok to love myself?
Why is it ok to treat myself well?
Why did God create perfection in me?
Why is it easy for people to get to know and like me?
Why am I respected?
Why do I let others see my worth and value?
Why do I see only the best in myself and in others?
Why am I allowed to do all I really want to in this life?
Now that you have a good idea to start, lets look at what you want, let’s get that emotional state out of it. That is right, we are not there yet. I don’t want you to fail like I did, and this is one spot that will do it to you.
When we think about what temperature that water will boil, we know that it has to be 212F, not 95F or even 211F. It needs to be so intense and deep down to the point. Another way of looking at this is to put your desires on a scale. Measuring the strength of that against the intensity of your emotions.
Ex: 1-20: whims, passing fancies, wishes, gratifications, momentary pleasures, and dislikes. 20-40: shoulds, oughts, duties, obligations, assignments, and extrinsic motivation. 40-60: Wants, interests. 60-80: recurring desires, growing intensity, strong mindsets, a sense of duty. 80-99: steady desires, relevant, important initiatives, strong interests and motivations. 100: high intensity, relevance, immediacy, heartfelt, passionate, and dead earnest. (These are your core desires) This is a great article that will explain this in more detail. Click here to read more:
When you pursue on anything below 100, you seem to encounter problems and barriers, you will find that you do not have the drive, or the ability to move past them. This will lead to struggles, disappointment and you eventually give up.
When you find your mentor, this is one place they should help you with. It can be the beginning or the end of what you are trying to achieve. For this “Forgotten Woman” it took me a few years to really figure this out. To sit down and put it in front of me and know from my own heart what it was that I wanted.
Sandy
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