Who is Sandy

Who am I and how did I make it here? I needed to find myself and a direction for my life. In other words, I started to look at who I am, what I can do for others and where my future will lead me.

Have you ever felt that way?

My name is Sandy and I grew up on a farm in a small town of Washington State, USA. After college I came home and married that annoying boy from High School who grew into a great man. I have two wonderful kids, now both through college, married and with wonderful kids of their own.

Life has a funny way of preparing you for your future by drawing from your past, and it wasn’t until I found myself in the caregiving role of my husband, did I realize that I had been preparing for this moment all of my life.

I believe we are put into situations, good or bad to teach us and prepare us for ways to help others.

Family Matters

When my son was four he still wasn’t talking and we wondered if something was wrong. I had to persuade the Doctor to run test after test and eventually we came to find out that he was entirely in his own world.

He was diagnosed with a severe hearing disability. From that moment on I had to be strong to fight for his rights. Moving through the school system and life events like every other normal little boy. And believe me, that was tough!

But in hindsight, I can see now that it prepared me for what lay ahead in my future. I learned to stand my ground and go after what I want.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer I had just hit the milestone of turning 50. I had always had big dreams for how the second chapter of my life was going to be. I thought that with the kids now being fully independent that this second chapter would be more about us and what we wanted to do.

But boy does life have a way of snapping you back to reality. Instead of embarking on all of my little pet dreams and projects, I was now faced with juggling this new challenge. With my career, aging parents, and helping with an aging aunt, I needed to find a way to hold it all together. In other words, I was supposed to be the responsible one.

I could feel a downward spiral pulling me to my lowest point ever and I was feeling lost; and the idea of heading into the unknown was frightening.

I had decisions to make!

My life was turning left and it was showing me that I needed to learn new things such as how to be a caregiver for my beloved and how to do things on my own. In our five-year struggle with cancer I learned a lot. In other words, I learned how to live in the moment.

It became about putting the most into it from scan to scan; and our goals went from long-term to short-term so that we could make the most of everything we did. Long trips or vacations were now a thing of the past.

In short, cancer woke us both up.

I found that reading and diving into research helped me to stay busy, especially on days when we were at chemo treatments or hospital visits. Mindset and personal development took on a whole new meaning as it opened the door to more and more possibilities. The most important of which was how to keep going with a smile on my face. People were depending on me.

What Matters Most

All I ever really wanted to do was to be a wife and a mother. We both wanted the best for our kids, and did all we could to give them that. We were at every event they participated in and every sporting event they were playing in. Always went camping, fishing and hiking together. It went non-stop for many years.

But as Don grew weaker, all activities vanished from our lives.

“Now what?” we had to ask ourselves.

We had to adopt a new way of looking at life and learn how to adapt quickly to change. Had to come to terms with our future, and whether or not Don would be able to walk our daughter down the aisle, or see our son getting married, and if we would fulfill our vision of growing old together.

And my caregiving didn’t stop with my husband. My plate expanded after his diagnosis as I then found myself taking care of my mom and Aunt who both developed Dementia, and my dad who developed Myasthenia Gravis that had him lying flat on his back; all within the same five years.

I started to become aware of what I was capable of and I found a fighting spirit to deal with all of the challenges. With the emotions that started to come my way, I chose not to be stuck and lost. Instead I chose to be a conscious caregiver, wife, mother and child; and I did that by choosing to master my mindset.

Love Never Dies

Don passed away in January of 2019, however I feel him with me every day, and I know that he is in my heart forever.

I stood by this strong, vital, extraordinary man and watched him end up weak and depressed, but still showing his capacity for kindness, patience and his willingness to be there for others.

And ultimately, I watched him find peace.

It was hard, but through his journey I was finding mine as every day was delivering forth something different and a new lesson for me to learn in life. My journey with my son, family and husband has brought out a lot of lessons; collectively it comes to 45 years.

And now with Don’s passing I knew I needed to share my experience with others. To teach people in a similar situation, how to have a positive mindset and smile through any adversity they might come across. I strive daily to help them find their own way and learn to cope with the things they need to.

Where I am NOW

It took over a year and a half, but what I found was me. In other words, set out making goals for what I wanted. If I had not done that, life would be stuck. I found something that drives vision to change and one that will let me have control with purpose and meaning.

I found a way to retire early from a job that was consuming me. Needed to look for adventure and someone to create a new life with. Just because you are widowed doesn’t mean you have to spend your life alone. The memories are still all around me and forever will be, yet they are just memories.

Time came for me to start fresh and new. I found someone who is just like me! He too lost his other half of many years and wanted to see new adventures.

We live from our past and bring it into our future. We share what we have learned and laugh from our mistakes. I found new LOVE and happiness again.

Let me share with you how to stand on your own two feet. Then learn to move forward and never get stuck again.

Keep smiling

Sandy

Are you feeling the stress and pain of losing of a loved one? Not having a direction and striving for the unknown? If you are always dreaming of being somewhere else and wanting it bad enough to make the change, I have some things that may help.

Sandy
Always Smiling Through Adversity